Some people think I am too "independent." So I am chillin' in the lab -- you know, my multi-billion dollar estate, with the elephants and the diamond studded toilet paper rolls, and my mattress filled with the softest stuff on earth -- million dollar bills. I can only sleep on mattresses filled with million dollar bills, you know. So I never slept a day in my life until I became ridonculously rich. Now I sleep all the time. I have like a million beds filled with million dollar bills. And platinum pillows. And I wash my face with liquid diamonds. And I eat gold studded Snickers bars. This all sounds like it would hurt, except for one thing ... I am so rich I had my pain glands removed. My nervous system is laced with platinum, diamonds, and gold. My blood is green like money. I have microscopic dolla bills flowing through my veins. And if you think this all sounds a little bit to crazy to be true ....
BAM! I just bought your identity. Bet you believe me now.
Anyhow, you know, I was talking with a few of my homies the other day -- Puff Diddles and Donnie Trump. I sez to them, "hey, do you think I'm too independent?" Fluffy Diddles looks up from shining my shoes and says, "Na boss!" So then I look at Donnie Von Speiler and I sez "Hey Donnie, do you think I am too independent?" And he looks at me and sez "I don't think so, sir!!!" So then I tells them both, "Good answer" and give them each a billion dollar tip. That's why they hang out with me and shine my shoes and wash my toes. Because I give dem billion dollar tips. That's how I roll.
So to any colleagues of mine that think I am too independent ... just go ask Fluffy Diddles and Donnie Von Speiler. They'll tell you what's up.
Now I am too tired to even write about my crazy plans. You know, it occurs to me, I don't even need to have plans. My interest makes interest. If there were a billion dollar bill on the ground in front of me, it wouldn't even be worth my time to bend down and pick it up.
Does that sound like the kind of guy who needs to make some sort of plot to rule the world?
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