BLING of Doom, Part 2

In my last post, I mentioned that I saw a BLING encrusted rapper on a television commercial. By bling encrusted, I mean he had gold-everything and fat diamond-everything. If it were possible to have platinum eardrums, I'm sure he would have had them done. I'd say the combined value of everything he owns is probably worth what I budget for a month's worth of my high end toilet paper (100% silk!), but still -- as a financial genius, I notice things like that. Where does he get his money? Why is he able to afford all of these accoutrements? Follow the money trail to the source; that's what I always say. You might find something you can use ...
His job skills didn't seem to impressive -- he seemed to be pretty good at throwing his arms and having tattoos. He was also good at talking very hard in a way that rhymes. Not exactly skills you go to Harvard for, but he seems to be doing OK. So anyway, I figured out that his profit comes from the fact that he is able to make people think that he is cool. There's a lot of profit in being cool.
Which leads me to my plan. I am going to purchase the entire rap industry. Of course, most of these multi-million and billion dollar business deals will occur behind the scenes, as I purchase the owners of the owner's owners business shares and majority stakes. Behind the scenes, I will be the invisible puppeteer, dictating what is cool. The rappers themselves will be mystified when their label owners force them to, for example, wear green pants or start saying the word "gubernoviski" in their rap lyrics. Behind the scenes, I will create a tapestry leading to a definite outcome:

Paving the way for myself. I will appear on the scene as a new and awesome new rap force to rule them all. I think my rap name will be "Mac Daddy Finance, the CFO of rap." I will give stock advice and permeate subliminal messages in my rap lyrics that will persuade people to spend their money on things I choose. Of course, it will all lead to profit to my evil enterprise in the end.

And when I have finished my fun, having thrown my arms, gotten tattoos, and talked very hard in a way that rhymes ....

All to the sound of applause from my billions of fans ....

Then I will sell the rap industry to the Chinese.

Then I will buy the stock market.

You might wonder how, but I can't tell you all the details of how selling the rap industry to the Chinese will enable me to purchase the stock market. Just trust me, it will set the stage.

And the rest?

History. I am creating my own language called MOTHERLODESE. 20 years from now, everyone on earth will be speaking it.

If you want to start preparing, I am offering top secret classes to a select group of evil geniuses who can afford to pay me a billion per 2-hour lesson. If you're interested ... it doesn't really matter. Invitation only.