इफ आईटी दोन'टी मके दोल्लाह्स आईटी डीओं'टी मके सेन्से.
This is Hindi for "If it don't make dollahs it don't make sense!"
Now there are criminal geniuses, and then there are CRIMINAL GENIUSES. I am the latter kind.
You know the bad guy who executes a maniacal scheme to melt a hole in the earth's core and ransom all of the world's governments?
I am not that guy.
In fact, that guy is my secretary. That guy goes to Starbucks and gets me a carmel apple latte every morning, shines my shoes, and walks my dog. You understand? I am the a global mastermind, not some cheap bald headed criminal with a scar on his face trying to get a ransom for some barely noticeable threat to world culture, like widening the hole in the ozone layer, or poisoning the earths water systems. Cheap tricks, barely worthy of mentioning. I am the guy with presidents for my henchman, aliens for my hairdressers, supermodels for my maids. I spend trillions like my inferiours spend millions. Dr. Evil would love to come to my parties, but he can't afford it. In fact, no one can. I party alone becuase I can't stand poor people. And POOR is everyone except me. And I party hard.
If there were a billion dollar bill right in front of me right now, it wouldn't be worth my time to bend down and pick it up. I once made Mr. Gates cry because I beat him in poker and won the deed to his house. Then I sent him home in a taxi. While he was in the taxi, I cloned him just so I could punch his clone in the face on live television. I made Trump lick my shoes and call me Papa Bear.
I am the guy who tells the president what his favorite color is. I am the guy with more cash on hand than the global economy. I am the guy who punches everything, all the time. And everything gets unconscious from my punches. And tells me what an honor it is to be punched by me.
I am Dr. Motherlode.
This is Hindi for "If it don't make dollahs it don't make sense!"
Now there are criminal geniuses, and then there are CRIMINAL GENIUSES. I am the latter kind.
You know the bad guy who executes a maniacal scheme to melt a hole in the earth's core and ransom all of the world's governments?
I am not that guy.
In fact, that guy is my secretary. That guy goes to Starbucks and gets me a carmel apple latte every morning, shines my shoes, and walks my dog. You understand? I am the a global mastermind, not some cheap bald headed criminal with a scar on his face trying to get a ransom for some barely noticeable threat to world culture, like widening the hole in the ozone layer, or poisoning the earths water systems. Cheap tricks, barely worthy of mentioning. I am the guy with presidents for my henchman, aliens for my hairdressers, supermodels for my maids. I spend trillions like my inferiours spend millions. Dr. Evil would love to come to my parties, but he can't afford it. In fact, no one can. I party alone becuase I can't stand poor people. And POOR is everyone except me. And I party hard.
If there were a billion dollar bill right in front of me right now, it wouldn't be worth my time to bend down and pick it up. I once made Mr. Gates cry because I beat him in poker and won the deed to his house. Then I sent him home in a taxi. While he was in the taxi, I cloned him just so I could punch his clone in the face on live television. I made Trump lick my shoes and call me Papa Bear.
I am the guy who tells the president what his favorite color is. I am the guy with more cash on hand than the global economy. I am the guy who punches everything, all the time. And everything gets unconscious from my punches. And tells me what an honor it is to be punched by me.
I am Dr. Motherlode.
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