Dr. Motherlode Sez ...

Some people think I am too "independent." So I am chillin' in the lab -- you know, my multi-billion dollar estate, with the elephants and the diamond studded toilet paper rolls, and my mattress filled with the softest stuff on earth -- million dollar bills. I can only sleep on mattresses filled with million dollar bills, you know. So I never slept a day in my life until I became ridonculously rich. Now I sleep all the time. I have like a million beds filled with million dollar bills. And platinum pillows. And I wash my face with liquid diamonds. And I eat gold studded Snickers bars. This all sounds like it would hurt, except for one thing ... I am so rich I had my pain glands removed. My nervous system is laced with platinum, diamonds, and gold. My blood is green like money. I have microscopic dolla bills flowing through my veins. And if you think this all sounds a little bit to crazy to be true ....

BAM! I just bought your identity. Bet you believe me now.

Anyhow, you know, I was talking with a few of my homies the other day -- Puff Diddles and Donnie Trump. I sez to them, "hey, do you think I'm too independent?" Fluffy Diddles looks up from shining my shoes and says, "Na boss!" So then I look at Donnie Von Speiler and I sez "Hey Donnie, do you think I am too independent?" And he looks at me and sez "I don't think so, sir!!!" So then I tells them both, "Good answer" and give them each a billion dollar tip. That's why they hang out with me and shine my shoes and wash my toes. Because I give dem billion dollar tips. That's how I roll.

So to any colleagues of mine that think I am too independent ... just go ask Fluffy Diddles and Donnie Von Speiler. They'll tell you what's up.

Now I am too tired to even write about my crazy plans. You know, it occurs to me, I don't even need to have plans. My interest makes interest. If there were a billion dollar bill on the ground in front of me, it wouldn't even be worth my time to bend down and pick it up.

Does that sound like the kind of guy who needs to make some sort of plot to rule the world?

What The??!!

So I was talkin' to Motherlode the other day and he kept sayin' sez with a Z! I don't know what he's doin' I guess he is entering his "gangsta" stage or something.

You Might Be Very Confused...

Yes I am rich and so is Dr. Motherlode, and we have some other plans in the making, but GCC's are worth more than regular money! And we are putting our other plans on hold till this one is complete. Hope this clears up some confusion.

We're Bout' to be So Rich!

Well looks like my ''friend'' Dr.D has beat me to the punch once again! I was gonna tell you what he told you but in verse form aka a poem and it rhymed and everything! Whatever, since he got to tell you that we had an Operation Teamwork I get to tell you what it is! So turns out there was one place on earth that had the secret ingredient for my blabber gas (it was Walmart)! So I have made oodles more! And this time I labeled it, so nothing can stop me! In addition, my colleague Dr.D has made his robot monkeys and is ready to unleash them upon the forests of the World! So here is the big plan so far: I infect all the majorly populated areas with my gas, and the good Dr. will set his robo-monkeys in all the major forests of the world. I have diluted the blabbergas so that it takes a longer time to take effect. So you gradually talk more and more each day, and before you know it you are talking yourself to death. And the Dr. D has built in a small explosive into each of his machines that when he pushes a button all his robonkeys will explode. Then, we reveal the fact that it is us (we gotta find a cool name for our team) that is wreaking global havoc! And we will tell all the major leaders of the world that if they give us 100 billion in GCCs (Global Currency Certificates) that we will fix everything, and if they ask if they can trust us we will fix a small part of the globe, convincing them that we are the only thing that can stop global extinction of monkeys and humans! Dr. Motherlode has not revealed his plan to us yet, but he assures us it will fit into our plan quite nicely. You probably noticed I am using a lot of exclamation points, and you might be saying to yourself: "This guy uses too many exclamation points." Well I am excited ok? You would be too if you were about the be the richest man in the world.

Ok Here is the Deal.

The reason I haven't blogged in a while (whoa deja vu) is because... well what it comes down to is that I kinda forgot about this blog because after my buddies and I came out of our comas we realized that our plans never work and we need to join forces and conquer the world cooperatively! Was that a run on sentence? I don't care! You know why?! Because I am soo evil I don't have to follow the rules of grammar if I don't want to! Dr. Motherlode has been acting really weird lately, he agreed to cooperate with "Operation Teamwork" (that's what we are calling it), but it took a lot of convincin'. I have always wondered about that Dr. Motherlode fellow, he seems a little too independent, and I wonder if he is really with us on this whole "teamwork business." There is only one problem with our otherwise genius plan... we don't what it is yet. All we know is that we are gonna work togeda. As they say in Jamaica. We are gonna meet in a shady bar in the middle of a thunderstorm wearing black hat and coats to work it out. It's gonna be just like the movies!

Bad News...

You have already heard about the fight, right? Well we all went into comas, and frank furt didn't come out. We unplugged his life support yesterday. I didn't like him that much anyway.

Now I have a real plan!

First I will buy a water gun from Walmart. Then I will squirt people with a chemical that make them do what ever I tell them! Naw that's boring. Let's see here.... I got it. I will make an army of evil monkey robots, and then set them loose in the jungles of Africa! Here's the genius part. When they mate with the natives; their babies will be completely robotic! I will only have to make a few robots, and they will do the rest! Only one problem, I have to find a way to bust out of this mental hospital... I will find a way, and I will succeed!